The Most Original Idea Created by Me and Me Only
by The Stupendous Jimbo
Summary: Re-uploaded. Behold! I've created the most original idea EVER! And I even have it patented! Man I'm so awesome...Mario, Kirby, Zelda, and Peach are trapped in an endless, digressed version of the Subspace Emissary. Because this idea has never been used...


Author: Oh my God! I have thought of an idea that has NEVER been done before, and so genuine, it'll be an instant CLASSIC! It's so original nobody would EVER think of it: I'm gonna right a novelized version of the Subspace Emissary! YAHOO!

Disclaimer: This complete original idea was thought of by me! And the concept was done by me! I thought of the idea, ALL ME!

**The Original Idea Ever Created By Me and Me Only**

The crowd cheered their cheery cheers as they cheered on the two competitors that were not cheering in a cheery way. After a bowl of cheerios, the two fighters felt cheery so they cheered each other on in a cheery fashion that made the audience cheer.

Mario and Kirby stepped up to the arena and prepared to fight. But a problem had occurred that made the fighters not so cheery: they were trophies.

But fear not, the trophies had magically come to life, which made everybody cheer. YAY!

The two fighters faced each other, took their pose, and waited.

"3"

They were starring hard,

"2"

Sweat had rolled down their faces,

"1"

The sweat got into their eyes,

"GO!"

"YEOWCH!" The two fighters screamed. Apparently the sweat had begun to burn out their eyes, because sweat is not the best thing to put in your eyes. It hurts… Badly…Yeah…

And just like all the cool people (Hey, I fall under peer pressure), the chapter is supposed to end here…But then again, the REALLY cool people would continue.

"And the really, REALLY cool people wouldn't make this so damn complicated." The O.C of the story (preferably a marry-sue) whined in an inane attempt to keep the flow of the story umm…Flowing? "Dear lord, when was the last time you wrote something?"

Well…I'm not sure…

Anyways, Kirby, the one in the red hat, and Mario, the pink marshmallow, had leaped into the air like a fine stallion ready to eat its own shi-

"Hey wait a second!" The annoying Marry-sueish O.C screamed yet again in her I-had-a-hard-life-because-everybody-hates-me-but-one-day-the-perfect-guy-will-come-by-and-marry-me-because-I'm-prettier-than-everybody-else-and-i-can-fight-better-than-everybody-else-ish way, "Mario is the one in the red cap and Kirby is the pink marshmallow."

You know what, (A/N: Insert bleeping sound here) you! You can write it since you're so perfect!

"Alright, then." And the Sue-ish O.C began to write…Maybe she won't digress as much as I do…

_The sun glisten as the cool breeze of the wind gently glided through the face of a man dressed in a red suit. It evanesced as soon as the man swished his arm up in an attempt to drive the trickling sweat off of his pale forehead. After ridding himself of the abomination, he took notice of the small pudgy shadow that stood before him._

Boring…

_Ahem…The shadow, which revealed itself to be a pink ball of fluff, ascended into the air and landed in front of the cunning man. The two warriors released an ambitious stare and gave way to a fighting stance. The wind had once again whirred its way across their firm faces, relieving them of the daunting heat._

Daunting heat?

_Shut up!_

You know what, you're confusing everybody. Just because you can write better than me doesn't mean you should rub it in! I'm gonna go off and cry now!

_For Christ's sakes, why are you doing this?_

Because this is MY idea and you're stealing it.

…_You do understand that there are about six other stories that are exactly like this, and most likely written better because they actually GET TO THE POINT!_

Well mine's more unique, and they cannot write this kind of story.

_Why is that?_

Because the disclaimer said that this is my idea, and nobody can steal it.

_The other stories were written way before you even thought of this idea._

Well they're plagiarizing, and I'm going to call my lawyer so I can sue every last one of them!

_But their version of the story was there before yours, and theirs is actually a story._

Well I put a patent on my idea!

_This is a story you retard, you put copyrights on them, not patents!_

But patents last longer!

_SHUT UP AND FINISH THE GOD DAMNED STORY SO WE CAN STOP SUFFERING AT YOUR LACK OF CREATIVITIES AND ABILITY TO WRITE!_

Fine…Douchebag…

The Ancient Minister could do nothing but stare in awe as the blinding flash of light drew closer to him. It was finally the end, Captain Falcon and Zero Suit Samus had violently throttled their way through the hundreds of Robs until a dark face appeared in the Bomb Factory.

_WAY TOO FAR AHEAD!_

Oh wait, so now I have to start at the beginning? That's boring!

…_Readers, let me tell you this right now: this is a prime example of an absolute FAILURE!_

No YOU'RE the failure!

_You know what, screw this, I quit!_

Fine! I never needed you anyway!

Anyways, after the match between Kirby and Mario, Mario ended up being the victor. Then all of a sudden, a bunch of androids came out of nowhere! ZOMG OMG! THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

But fear not, Zelda and Peach have come to the rescue! In the mean time, Mario began to look over Kirby's trophy, which stood perfectly stiff…Like it was some sort of rock formation.

"Umm guys, how do I get this thing open," Asked Mario as he looked at the two females who were too busy dealing with the advancing Primids.

"Not now Mario, we're a little busy!" Peach called out.

"But he's stuck in this trophy, and most likely it's sucking the life out of him!" Mario began to freak out. He ripped off his hat and threw it to the ground as he began to run around in circles.

"Oh for Christ's sakes, Mario, GET A GRIP!" Zelda shouted. "Just tap the trophy!"

Mario looked at her in obvious confusion and shrugged. He turned to the trophy and tapped it. Nothing happened. He tapped it again, and nothing happened…Again…

"Umm Zelda, nothing's happening."

Zelda jumped and kicked a Primid away from her than turned to face Mario. "Do I have to do everything myself?"

She ran up to the trophy and tapped it. Nothing happened.

"What is wrong with this thing?" She growled as she felt her temper slowly rise.

"Maybe it's broken?" Mario shrugged and began to tap it. The trophy continued to remain motionless.

"ARGH! WAKE UP DAMN YOU!" Zelda screamed and kicked the trophy between the legs. It moved. "Huh?" It began to violently shake until Kirby popped out of the trophy screaming in intense pain.

"Hey, you did it!" Mario clapped. The plumber was too busy cheering in a cheerful manner as everyone else cheered in their cheery…You know what, I'm not starting this again…

"Mario, look out!" Zelda shrieked, but it was too late. Kirby and Mario were trapped in two separate cages. The person or thing holding the cage turned out to be a giant plant…Or flower...Perhaps a vine…Venus flytrap?

"It's Petey Piranha." Peach pointed out.

Thanks.

Well Petey Piranha continued to bash the two cages together as if they were some sort of crash cymbals…Ouch…

"Hey wait a second!" Kirby screamed, "Isn't it supposed to be Zelda and Peach that get captured?"

"Yeah, I should be saving your ass, not vice versa!" Mario called out.

God dammit you people make this complicated!

"But you aren't even getting the story right!" Zelda called out, "You're obviously a poor writer!"

You know I can easily use my awesome author powers to destroy you! Would you like to end up like Roy? I can kill you off just as easily!

"Whoa take it easy!" Zelda held up her hands in an attempt to calm the raged author down.

Take it easy? How do you think I feel? I suddenly felt this great urge to write again after a long hiatus and took the time to write a story. Nobody reviewed it yet, and so I decided to re-upload some new stories that have YET to get a review. Why doesn't anybody like me?! Not to mention I don't know how to properly lay out a story, and I have horrible diction! I feel hopeless!

"That may be true, but if it helps, the other authors cannot write either." Zelda replied in a tone that made you readers feel that the current author had just flipped you off…Oh you just got burrrned!

"For Christ's sake Zelda stop arguing with the author already and save me!" Mario screamed.

Peach slapped her head. "You know, I bet you right now that a lot of people had just pressed the back button."

"Than why not do something to keep the viewers interested?" Kirby suggested…What a dumbass…

"Like what?" Zelda asked.

Kirby and Mario had predominantly looked at each other…Yes, predominantly…I learned a new word…Which means to have ascendancy, power, authority, or influence over others…Yes, they were starring at each other with more power.

"Strip!" The two screamed.

Peach groaned in disgust. "Ugh…Males…" She murmured to herself.

"Okay, any ideas that aren't perverted?" Zelda asked. Mario and Kirby were dumbfounded at such a question.

"Umm how about you do something awesome?" Mario suggested…Predominantly!

"No we can't do that, because than it would conflict with the unwritten rules of humor."

"Why do you say that?" Kirby asked.

"Because we have to do something random, that's how we make people laugh." Zelda responded to the pink marshmallow "Besides, everybody knows that REAL authors say stupid random things in their humors, because THAT's how you make people laugh."

"So you're saying that if I say something random right now, people would laugh?" Mario asked.

"Technically, yes."

So Mario began to think. And think he did. He thought they thought his thinking was thoughtful and thought that he had to think his thoughts in a way that he thought was thinking clearly. But obviously they thought his thoughts were outrageous to think of a thinking thought…I think it's a little too confusing to explain…Thought I'd try…So Mario thanked his thinking thoughts for thinking of a way to out think the unthinkable. After all of that thinking, he found the random word that he thought just might work…I think…

"…Penis!" He said in an outspoken manner.

"…I had to say something…" Zelda buried her head in her palms.

The battling ceased and a giant floaty thingy of doom (I PUT A PATENT ON THAT TOO!) whirred its way towards the four smashers.

"Hello, children." The floaty thingy of doom™ said in a calm voice.

"Who are you?" Mario asked, "And what's with the primids?"

"Hey wait a second, time out!" Kirby screamed. Everybody stopped and looked at him. "Okay how does Mario know what these creatures are?"

Look I don't know-

"So you're saying Mario all of a sudden attained such knowledge?"

Dude it doesn't matter-

"Oh but it does, you just got lazy and you didn't want the floaty thingy of doom™ to tell him that. Now was it really that hard?"

Holy crap dude, it's only a story, take a chill pill.

"No YOU take a chill pill. You obviously don't understand! You're just like all the others, watching the characters magically gain knowledge out of nowhere without question."

You know, I've already reached over one thousand words, and I'm still at the beginning…I'm not going to finish now am I?

"Because you not only got lazy, but you're not going ANYWHERE with this. By now the only people reading this are the ones who are either drunk or forced!"

….Is it a force of sexual pleasure?

All of a sudden a man ran into the stadium screaming "no, no, no, no, no! It just won't do!"

"Who ar-"

"Okay, new take, the author is so detailed it drives you insane, so you feel angry, now give me an angry look!"

_We won't interrupt your stories, so please don't interrupt ours. Please, silence your cell phones._

Kirby sighed in utter disbelief. "Just shoot me." And shot him I did.

Kirby transformed back into a trophy, while the floaty thingy of doom™ watched. He decided not to make a matter of the situation, and continued his speech, which would have been done by now if it weren't for SOMEBODY making a big deal out of nothing…Jackass…

"Anyways, I am the Ancient Minister, and I'm here to take over your world. Muahahahaha!" The floaty thingy of doom™ announced in the classic bad-guy-taking-over-the-world-and-sounds-like-an-idiot tone.

"Hey when was the last time I heard a villain laugh like that after bluntly announcing his plan like that?" Zelda asked…Predominantly! (I love that word…)

"Don't know, but we better get Mario and Kirby out of those cages before it's too late." Peach answered in an amazingly godly manner.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that…My bad…"

And thus, Zelda is also a jackass.

The Prime Minister flew off while Zelda and Peach prepared to battle the giant plant.

"IT'S PETEY PIRANHA YOU DUMBASS!" Mario screamed.

Right, like I said, they were preparing to fight.

"Finally, how long did it take?" Mario began to scream like a girl on her period, "You know, if this guy wasn't such a push over, I'd probably be dead by now."

Sheesh, what a whiney bitch.

"Alright Mario, get ready!" Zelda charged up her magic…Yup, I could have said something like 'a cerulean blue aura erupted around the princess as she began to summon her powers' but I once again got lazy and decided to say she's charging her magic. Besides, it's a lot easier that way too.

Mario ducked and soon a giant arrow of light flew across the field and directly pierced the heart of the giant plant.

"It's Petey Piranha," Mario once again said.

Sheesh, am I not allowed to use epithets? Dear lord I should have turned you into a trophy.

Once Mario was free, he looked at Kirby's trophy, and looked at the time bomb that appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh god, what do we do now?" Just then, poor Peach periodically panicked, predominantly predicting pandemonium, poverty, pregnancy, precisely portraying preposterous pain-

"STOP, STOP, STOP! YOU'RE CONFUSING PEOPLE!" Zelda screamed, "Now Peach, calm down, and Mario, get Kirby out of that trophy. We're gonna get out of here."

Mario walked up to Kirby's trophy, and slammed his foot between the legs. The trophy cracked, and Kirby once again flew out of the trophy whilst screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Seriously, Mario, do you honestly have to keep doing that?" Peach folded her arms in a stern manner.

"God dammit Mario, I'm gonna kill you!" Kirby screamed. Before he could do anything, Zelda pointed at the time bomb, and soon everything was forgotten. The smashers noticed all the Primids escaping via air, but the only person who was capable of flying was-

"Oh HELL no!" Kirby screamed. "I am NOT going to carry that fat ass around, I'd rather die!"

"Hey I'm keeping an eye on my weight!" Peach screamed.

"Yeah she's lost about twenty pounds by now." Zelda exclaimed.

"Dude, you need to watch yourself." Mario joined the two ladies.

"Well that's fine and all, but I still cannot carry three people." Kirby said with a sigh, "If only there was somebody who could also fly…"

Up in the air a boy that gave off the appearance of a seventeen year old angel had watched the whole thing while eating popcorn.

"Oh man, those poor Smashers, if only there was something I could do." The boy said as he reached into his bag for another handful of popcorn.

"Pit!"

The angel turned around to see his goddess cross eyeing him.

"What do you want, crazy lady?" Pit asked.

"Pit, you must go and save them." The goddess declared. "And for the love of me, my name is Palutena."

"Yeah, yeah, what ever. Now why do you want me to go save them?" The angel asked.

"Because it's your destiny." Palutena announced proudly.

"But I haven't even finished my popcorn yet." Pit whined.

"DEAR LORD FORGET ABOUT THE STUPID POPCORN AND GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE RIGHT THIS INSTANCE!"

"Alright, sheesh, you don't have to be such a bitch about it." Pit groaned.

"That's it, I'm getting the Teletubbies!"

"I'll go I'll go!"

And with that, Pit ran to the random hole in the floor and took a leap of faith. The gust of the wind flew by his face, causing him to smile with glee. The view was perfect, and he loved it. It was all there, the clouds, the sky, the wind, the smoldering rock-

"Wait the smoldering wha-"

BAM!

The angel was now free falling unconsciously.

Meanwhile back at the pokemon stadium, everybody was just about gone. The four smashers were still thinking of a plan.

"Look, I cannot carry you guys, we are screwed!" Kirby concluded.

"Don't say that, there's always hope!" Zelda said in a desperate manner.

"Look, it's not like help is going to fall out of the sky, you know!"

As if on queue, Pit's body smashed the ground in front of the four smashers. Kirby examined the body, and looked at the sky. "It's not like hot, sexy naked ladies fall out of the sky, you know!" He screamed. Nothing happened. "Damn…"

"So is he dead?" Peach asked.

Mario poked Pit with a stick he randomly found.

"Good job, we have random, the story's alive!" And everybody cheered…Predominantly!

"Yep, he's dead." Mario said. Kirby let out a huge sigh.

"You know what, screw this!" He turned around and started heading to the edge of the stage.

"Hey where are you going, the story's not finished yet!" Zelda called.

"Holy crap, have you not yet realized that this so-called 'story' is nothing but a piece of crap?" Kirby asked. "It's been a failure since the beginning; I've just had it now. I'm out."

"Well where are you going?" Mario asked.

"Don't know, don't care. I'll go to the bar to get a drink…Possibly get laid or something." And with that, Kirby was gone.

The three starred at each other before running after the pink marshmallow.

"Hey wait, you can't leave yet!" The Ancient Minister screamed.

"Why not?" Mario asked.

"If you leave, how will we figure out how the story ends?" He asked as if he was complaining about something.

"I'll give you a clue: The bad guy looses." And with that, the three Smashers were gone.

The Ancient Minister was thinking. "Hmm…I think I need another clue." He murmured to himself.

"Umm sir, I think he was implying that you would loose." One of the Primids said.

"Oh…I see….Well congratulations; you've been promoted, later!" The Ancient Minister turned to leave. "Wait for me, guys!"

"Wait, sir! I have no idea how to be a bad guy!" The Primid called.

"Oh it's easy, just die," said the Ancient Minister before leaving for good.

"But sir, I don't know how to die! Sir!" The Primid continued to scream. Just then, the time bomb was only ten seconds away from going off.

Author: Well that was fun…The reason I wrote this story so long ago was because at the time Brawl just came out and everybody, I mean EVERYBODY was writing their own novelized version of the subspace adventure. It was so ridiculous I had to parody it. To give you a hint it's almost as bad as the silly "Truth or Dare" fics you constantly see everywhere now-a-days. Well I hope you enjoyed it, and by the way, a review or two would be nice. Just saying…

Until next time!

- JIMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


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